Realizations…

I suppose this has been mulling in my mind these past few weeks, but perhaps now it is clearer and seemingly so simple.  I’ve been taking some e-courses online to pump myself up for a new venture.  Everything from art, design to more general, almost motivational topics…and I must admit I was a bit skeptical at first.  I mean, how much can you learn from someone just through the computer screen?  I had always put the burden on myself to work really hard, put in so much effort that it is painful, in order to really achieve something.

Flower from the roadside...

I’ve always been the loner and “independent woman” as some like to say.  I suppose I could blame it on my upbringing or culture, but those are just excuses.  It is odd for me to realize now, how stubborn I must have been.  I always thought I could do it alone or didn’t need any help or guidance.  Or maybe it was the proud side of me that was taught to believe I could do anything if I just put all my effort into it.  I suppose that is still true – if you really want to learn something, you can do it!  However, in taking these courses and learning so much I’ve realized that it’s okay to get help.  It’s okay to ask others for assistance, for guidance…and going through these experiences with others is also really enjoyable.  I guess, it’s just a simple change in my frame of mind.  So simple, so wonderful and life changing to just think differently.

As opposed to tortured artist hashing things out in the studio, it’s perfectly fine to be a beginner with lots of questions.  Amazing.  I don’t know if it’s silly for me to realize this suddenly, because it so simple.  I mean, we all went to school, we all had teachers and were guided by everyone around us growing up.  We are who we are, shaped by all the experiences and people in our lives.  But when you realize all the support that exists around you and open yourself up, it’s so much nicer.  The world seems like a place full of possibilities, rather than some turbulent mess that you are trying to make your way through…

I don’t know if I even make much sense in writing this out, but inside I feel better and happier and definitely pumped…yay!

Posted on July 20, 2009 at 10:37 am | life thoughts | 1 comment