I just saw this little animation short by artist Peter H. Reynolds and totally inspired to share it.  You should definitely watch this little video called He Was Me.  It’s very touching and made me stop and think how many people could really relate to the character.  I have to say that just some months ago I must have been a bit like him.  Stuck in a corporate job and living a sort of blah life, sometimes even toxic it seems from my perspective now.

No offense to all my friends and family who have great careers, moving up the ranks and being successful in their own way.  It’s just nice to know that the seemingly normal progression of life is not the only path available to you.  Growing up we seem to forget the limitless possibilities in this world.  All those dreams and joys that we might have taken for granted as children simply because it came so naturally.  There were no rules or boundaries to our imaginations.

Growing up and following the social norms of what you must do and accomplish to be considered successful seems to stifle  a lot of creativity and freedom in people.  It’s really that sense of freedom that comes from within, I don’t mean physical freedom necessarily. For myself, I became really obsessed with practicality and “doing the right thing” – making sure I impressed those around me and hoping for the love and recognition to validate it all.  Even when I was a kid I used to do things or NOT do things according to the opinions of others if it was right or wrong.  Would people approve and think it was the right thing to do?  I suppose it was mostly family, because I have 4 older brothers and 1 older sister who were great role models, but also seemingly scary elders who could really chew you out if you did something bad.

I suppose it sounds a bit grave, but a lot of times I found myself just going through the motions because it seemed like what I should be doing as defined by the rest of world.  No doubt I had support and love from my family for whatever I did – it’s just that parents who are really busy trying to support their family and care for their kids tend to raise children with that same worry and preoccupation with survival.  In my family it was always about making a proper living with a good job, so you could provide for your family.  Noble goals no doubt and probably very common, but it’s a bit too general and non-specific to enable you to really find your place in life.

A lot of life coaches and we even learn in project management that success must be defined before you can go ahead and try to make it happen.  What does success mean in life?  Well, you just have to picture yourself in the future and what the ideal would be…all the details down to the intimate feelings.  It’s going to be different for everyone…obviously making a living and sustaining is universal, but how exactly?  Someone who wants to live in the country with nature should have a different path of getting there than someone who wants to be a journalist, etc.  It doesn’t mean you have to recreate your ideal world to exactness, but it helps you to realize your real goal – then you can figure out how to get there.  Often we go the other way around, going with the normal flow of school, choosing a career and getting a job and then wondering, “Hey, am I happy?”  Your ideal situation is probably evolving all the time which is fine, but it’s just another way at “solving the problem” so to speak.

All this jabbering is just to say I really like the short animation and that you should check it out, because it spurred on a lot of interesting thoughts for me and I’m sure it will for you too.  I think it’s rather funny that I fluctuate from having very amorphous grand thoughts of dream situations and theories of life…that eventually lead back down to the details and uber practical nature of how you make it happen.  It’s like planning projects (hmm, now I’m getting nerdy…)  It’s all part of my personality and I am definitely still figuring things out.  I’m just very happy that I have the time to think about these things!

Well, some friends are visiting from Ohio for the next couple of weeks, so I’m super excited to be nostalgic, catch up on all the news as well as make plans for the future.  We have been talking about starting up some new creative projects, so I’m looking forward to our meetings.  Yay for excitement!

Posted on July 27, 2009 at 2:47 pm | life thoughts | 2 comments

A friend of mine used to say huzzah all the time, it’s so funny!  I am celebrating because I’ve finally got my new blog up to start documenting my little art biz journey.  Thanks to Marisa from Creative Thursday, all the little fishie friends in our goldfish community, art trader magazine and many other inspirations – it’s finally up!  Check out my new blog torta gialla!

I am starting small and simple, but have a lot of great ideas in mind.  It’s both exciting and scary!  I am sure it will be challenging updating my various different blogs for different purposes, but I hope torta gialla will be the most active with my artwork.  This blog will remain as my personal outlet of random thoughts.  Ciao!

Posted on July 20, 2009 at 6:17 pm | blogging | 2 comments

I suppose this has been mulling in my mind these past few weeks, but perhaps now it is clearer and seemingly so simple.  I’ve been taking some e-courses online to pump myself up for a new venture.  Everything from art, design to more general, almost motivational topics…and I must admit I was a bit skeptical at first.  I mean, how much can you learn from someone just through the computer screen?  I had always put the burden on myself to work really hard, put in so much effort that it is painful, in order to really achieve something.

Flower from the roadside...

I’ve always been the loner and “independent woman” as some like to say.  I suppose I could blame it on my upbringing or culture, but those are just excuses.  It is odd for me to realize now, how stubborn I must have been.  I always thought I could do it alone or didn’t need any help or guidance.  Or maybe it was the proud side of me that was taught to believe I could do anything if I just put all my effort into it.  I suppose that is still true – if you really want to learn something, you can do it!  However, in taking these courses and learning so much I’ve realized that it’s okay to get help.  It’s okay to ask others for assistance, for guidance…and going through these experiences with others is also really enjoyable.  I guess, it’s just a simple change in my frame of mind.  So simple, so wonderful and life changing to just think differently.

As opposed to tortured artist hashing things out in the studio, it’s perfectly fine to be a beginner with lots of questions.  Amazing.  I don’t know if it’s silly for me to realize this suddenly, because it so simple.  I mean, we all went to school, we all had teachers and were guided by everyone around us growing up.  We are who we are, shaped by all the experiences and people in our lives.  But when you realize all the support that exists around you and open yourself up, it’s so much nicer.  The world seems like a place full of possibilities, rather than some turbulent mess that you are trying to make your way through…

I don’t know if I even make much sense in writing this out, but inside I feel better and happier and definitely pumped…yay!

Posted on July 20, 2009 at 10:37 am | life thoughts | 1 comment

It has been very hot these days, with record highs throughout Italy.  Whew…being a Californian girl, hot summers are nothing new.  However, humidity and lots of sweating is something new indeed.  Dry hot versus wet hot – is one better than the other?  Amazingly, I still have dry skin even with all the humidity!

The heat is really making it difficult for me to do anything for long periods of time.  I stop to rehydrate, wipe off sweat, wash my face, stand by the fan and such distracting things.  So annoying!  I guess it’s a silly complaint…and if you haven’t realized already, we don’t have air conditioning here.  Back in California everyone had air conditioning or you could run to the mall or public places to cool down.  Here in Italy (perhaps because we are in a smaller town?) places don’t usually have air conditioning units installed or when they do it’s not set at full-blast where it feels freeeezing indoors and scalding hot when you step outside suddenly.

I suppose it’s a good thing to sweat a little sometimes and slow down your life.  However, it’s also a really good excuse for me to do nothing.  Giving into major laziness…so this is why there’s siesta and nap times, especially in the summer.

My sunflowers! - I miei girasoli!

The lovely thing about summer here in the Tuscan hills though, are the lovely views of sunflowers all over.  I can see fields and fields right from my bedroom terrace!  We also tried planting some and although they turned out a bit skimpy inside pots instead of in the real earth and soil, the first one flowered today!  A little one, but so cute and lovely to see the bright yellow.  Makes me smile…

Posted on July 17, 2009 at 4:01 pm | italy | 3 comments

…or perhaps I should say renewal, because that sounds more positive!  Years ago I blogged quite frequently and encouraged all my friends to start blogs as well.  Some years later I took my blog down and avoided the digital life and online stuff in general.  I didn’t really know what to write about after a while and sharing the mundane details of life seemed silly.

I always wanted to start up again because I realized that there is an audience that cares, all your friends and family and future digital friends, too!  However, I didn’t know where to begin really.  This post I actually started a while ago, but I tend to have a lot of drafts of things that I never fully complete.  I suppose I am the queen of “it’s not ready” and thereby never showing anything.  Or looking on the positive side, I’m very much an idea person…following through to completion takes so much more effort for me compared to starting on a great idea!  I like to say I have ADD, but those are just excuses as always.  I decided to make a change and “Just Do It!”

I was motivated enough to start up this blog when I had my major life change – moving to Italy and getting married!  It seemed like a good point to start blogging again, to share my journey and thoughts.  Specifically I will chronicle my thoughts about living in this foreign country and the oh so wonderful experiences of married life.  I suppose also it’s very therapeutic to be able to “talk” to friends in this way and in English!  I’ve learned a lot of Italian, but amongst a foreign culture  and a language that can go into dialects and variations, it’s still difficult for me to comprehend everything and especially to express exactly what I want to say.  Heck – it’s hard to express sometimes even in English!  This blog will serve as my little private outlet…perhaps one day I will be able to blog in Italian.

So lately I’ve been in a bit of a funk emotionally, trying to find my place with all the changes in life.  After quitting my PM job, I am still freelance designing for web and graphic projects here and there, but have been exploring a bit more regarding starting my own business.  Something with design, but more than anything – positive, happy, beautiful things and thoughts – that’s what I want.  There is so much negativity and grief in this world, I want to create the opposite and make the world a better place – as corny as that sounds.  I’ve been learning a bit about positive psychology and there is a bit about how stress is inevitable in life, but you have to “undo the negative” so to speak.  You have to balance it with positive things in your life, so that it doesn’t adversely affect your health and livelihood, which is why people need to blow off steam, go out and have fun and such.  I want to be a happiness engineer!  Did that just sound really nerdy corny?  Well, I had been in the mode of self-reflection and analysis…researching what I should do and taking e-courses to learn even more.  I think I will be ready very soon, it’s exciting and scary…

Now that I’ve blabbed on for a while, let me share some photography…things that inspire and make me happy.  Have a great day and I will update soon.  Thanks for listening.

Things that make me happy here in Italia!

Posted on July 10, 2009 at 11:18 am | blogging | 1 comment

Whoa – amazing how time has flown by after getting hitched.  A month passed and we finally went on our honeymoon to Greece.  Naxos and Santorini are the islands we planned to stay in.  Now it’s already July and we are back home!

I am still not settled in and the room seems to be in a mess with piles of items to attend to.   Real life items and digital items too, but I wanted to put down some of my initial feelings and thoughts before I forget and time sweeps me forward and away!

Wonderful variety of food - yum yum!

Naxos was a lovely island to visit for the history and sites, but also just quiet times together.  We stayed at a very nice hotel and half-board was a good idea, because we always had to go back for siesta given the heat, have dinner – then head out again.  The beach life was also very nice, although I think we aren’t very beachy people.  Getting roasted isn’t that much fun, but small intervals proved to be very relaxing and we are just a bit more tanned now!

Lovely secluded beach areas in Naxos - Boating around from Santorini

While in Naxos we also took the ferry to Paros, which was much the same – maybe even a bit more quiet.  We were told that mid-June wasn’t the peak of the season either, so less people in general everywhere.  I am glad though, because peak season must be crazy.  On the ferries I always felt like we were cows being herded around, to think when there would be more tourists…yikes!

Santorini was not exactly how I had imagined it…perhaps too many movies and my crazy imagination went too far.  However, it was pretty cool and amazing to see the houses built on the mega steep hills.  I do think it’s cooler-looking in photos than in real life.  Weird!

Beautiful architecture and views - blinding white at times!

We had a fantastic time, many adventures and much aching of legs from walking too much.  I always said, “hey, that beach looks better, it can’t be that far, right?”  Hehe…I get myself into trouble I suppose.

Now I feel a bit odd to realize vacation is over.  Back to the normal routine, although I can’t say that’s a bad thing – Italia is wonderful.  Perhaps I’ve grown just a bit too comfortable with no schedule.  Now when things really need to be done, it seems like a mountain instead of the mole hill that it is – I used to work a crazy amount of hours in Los Angeles after all.

Romantic sunsets...even though ours at home is pretty cool too

Well, I’m a bit relieved to be home anyway…casa dolce casa, right?  Back to good Italian food and real espresso coffee.  Until later…ciao ciao!

Posted on July 2, 2009 at 12:04 pm | italy, wedding | 2 comments